GETTING PAST NO_W.URY

• Joint problem solving
• Soft on the people, hard on the problem
• Interest instead of positions
• Goal : reach a mutually satisfactory agreement
• Barriers
• Your reaction
• Their emotion
• Their position
• Their dissatisfaction
• Their power
• Strategy : indirect action, change the game
• Change the game, let them have you way
• As in the Japanese martial arts, avoid pitting your strenght directly.
• Opposite of imposing you position. Not tell them, let them figure it out.
• Steps
• Go to the balcony
• Mental balance, stat focused
• Imagine yourself standing on a balcony looking down on your negotiation
• Disconnect the automatic link b/w emotion and action
• Buy yourself time to think
• Agreement certainly better than your BATNA
• Your worst enemy is your own quick reaction
• Step to their side
• Your words may fall on deaf ears, dont try to reason with a person who is not receptive
• Help the others to regain mental balance
• Listening
• Paraphrase and ask for corrections
• Acknowledging
• Accumulate yeses
• Tune in their wavelength
• Show respect and feelings
• Build a working relationship
• Dont say but, say yes...and
• Make I statements not you
• Create a favorable climate for negotiation
• Agreeing
• Reframe
• Accept whatever they say and reframe it
• "Tell me more, help me understand why you want that"
• Build them a golden bridge
• Bridge the gap between their interests and yours.
• Use power to educate
• Show them that they cannot win by themselves but only together.
• Prepare, prepare, prepare
• Most negotiations are won or lost before talk, depending on preparation
• Points
• Interests
• Your
• Their
• Ability to put yourself in the other side's shoes
• Options for satisfaying those interests
• Invent first, evaluate later
• Standards for differences fairly
• When conflict, use standards like market rates, technical measures etc.
• Alternatives to negotiation
• BATNA - better alternative to a negotiated agreement
• Best course of action for satisfying your interests without the other's agreement
• Like find a job with another firm
• BATNA IS THE KEY TO NEGOTIATING POWER. More important than whether you are bigger, stronger, senior or richer.
• Identify your and their BATNA
• Proposals for agreement
• Rehearse with someone else